I need to apologize for the delay on updating, it's been a month of highs and lows.
First, the radio show was so much fun! I've been listening to them for years and always wanted to meet them/be on their show. So finally having the opportunity to do so, I thought was awesome. That would be such a fun job, I think. They get to talk about basically whatever they want for a few hours and get paid for it! They were such nice people you can't help but want to be friends with them. Later that day we got home and pulled up the show on their website and listened to it. I don't know how many of you listened to the show after I was done but one of the paramedics that was there the night of my accident, texted into the show and said some really cool things.
I saw a news story recently about a woman that was pregnant and something went wrong. Her husband called 911 and long story short, they were able to save her life but not the baby. But a year later they were able to track down everyone that helped them that night and meet with all of them. They all shared their part of the story about that night, and they were able to pull up the 911 call. It was pretty amazing, and really cool to hear about. That would be something I think would be so cool to do. That night has so many parts that I just don't remember, and so many people I'm sure that made a huge difference on what could have happened. It would just be really cool to look each one of them in the eye and say thank you. One of these days maybe I'll be able to say I did that as well.
First, the radio show was so much fun! I've been listening to them for years and always wanted to meet them/be on their show. So finally having the opportunity to do so, I thought was awesome. That would be such a fun job, I think. They get to talk about basically whatever they want for a few hours and get paid for it! They were such nice people you can't help but want to be friends with them. Later that day we got home and pulled up the show on their website and listened to it. I don't know how many of you listened to the show after I was done but one of the paramedics that was there the night of my accident, texted into the show and said some really cool things.
I saw a news story recently about a woman that was pregnant and something went wrong. Her husband called 911 and long story short, they were able to save her life but not the baby. But a year later they were able to track down everyone that helped them that night and meet with all of them. They all shared their part of the story about that night, and they were able to pull up the 911 call. It was pretty amazing, and really cool to hear about. That would be something I think would be so cool to do. That night has so many parts that I just don't remember, and so many people I'm sure that made a huge difference on what could have happened. It would just be really cool to look each one of them in the eye and say thank you. One of these days maybe I'll be able to say I did that as well.
So some of you may know that for the last 3 or 4 months I've been reading into getting a micro mini pig. Well after much persuading, Ben finally gave me the ok! Ha ha so without further adieu, please meet Madsen! Why 'Madsen' you ask. Well Bens requirement for getting one was it had to be named that. One of Ben's childhood friends, who is now a police officer has the last name of Madsen. So there you go, Madsen. He is so freakin funny and cute. We've been having a lot of fun with him. You'll see why when you watch the videos.
On a gloomier note, my 1 year "anniversary" was last Monday and I really didn't care for it. I wanted the day to come and go. No visitors, no talking to people, basically I wanted to watch a show on Netflix ALL DAY, and I did! I didn't want to think. It might not be the right way of dealing with it but that's what I did. I had a friend ask what it was that made it so hard and I didn't want to talk about it at that time. But it just reminds me of where I was, physically and mentally. The pain, fear and unknowing of what was to come. I remember going into either my 2nd or 3rd surgery and talking to Ben right before. I said 'I can't wait to go into surgery, get out, do some rehab and be back to normal.' I was so uneducated and had no real clue what I was going to go through. I think it's good though, because I don't think I would have been able to deal with it all. Little by little, I've gotten more knowledgeable and a better grip on the situation but it's still hard. I've been going through some different emotions and lows this last week and I feel that I lost my way a little but Wednesday morning I received a text from a friend that really REALLY helped get me back on track. I want to share the text;
'Hey, so I know it's the butt crack of dawn... Sorry about that.... I just woke up with you on my mind and wanted to say heyyy! You doing okay this week?? Listen, I'll try not to ramble. Natalie- I believe in you. You may not feel like the same person sometimes and you think you're not 'fun' but I see it differently. I see it as you just with more responsibilities, that's all. I know you think your the 'big kid at heart' and I won't deny that I do think your spirit is youthful and thriving but I think you're the kind of person that was meant to take on the challenges of life because someone out there knows you will succeed. Success can be achieved in so many ways and you've already made some of those successes in carrying through every day and being able to share your journey- I don't think a lot of people could do that. Thank you so much for that gift, for finding me as a friend, and for letting me be a part of your world. I feel very lucky to call you my friend. You mean a lot to me.'
As I laid in bed reading that I began to cry. It was exactly what I was feeling. I was feeling that I didn't know myself, that I was boring, and like I wasn't living I was just existing. I even began to doubt whether I'd walk again. It's a scary thought and a really sad place for me, but it's a place I can't pretend isn't there in my mind. It's hard to remember sometimes to stay in the now. What will be, will be. I can only try my hardest everyday to make my life and future as fulfilling and positive as possible, today. Not tomorrow, not a week, month or year from now, just today. And in the moment after reading that text I reminded myself that I was given this life because I'm strong enough to life it dammit! I needed to get back on track and needed to do it quick. I am feeling a lot better now though so Mom, please relax, there's no need to worry.
Therapy is coming along well. I must admit since getting Madsen I've been slacking. But this week, I'm getting back on track. I skipped a few therapy sessions and/or cut them short. And when I'm at home I've been lazier. Just sitting around a playing with my piggy. It's hard not to want to cuddle with him! But I'm getting better; we get outside a few times everyday now and want to start taking him for walks at least a few times before it gets too cold. We are looking at getting me a car really soon so I'm going to need to practice getting my chair apart and getting my arms stronger so I can lift it up over me. It's going to be hard work but I can't wait to feel even more independent!
Well on that note, I have to go get ready now. We are going to go look at a car here shortly! Maybe it'll be the one!
'Hey, so I know it's the butt crack of dawn... Sorry about that.... I just woke up with you on my mind and wanted to say heyyy! You doing okay this week?? Listen, I'll try not to ramble. Natalie- I believe in you. You may not feel like the same person sometimes and you think you're not 'fun' but I see it differently. I see it as you just with more responsibilities, that's all. I know you think your the 'big kid at heart' and I won't deny that I do think your spirit is youthful and thriving but I think you're the kind of person that was meant to take on the challenges of life because someone out there knows you will succeed. Success can be achieved in so many ways and you've already made some of those successes in carrying through every day and being able to share your journey- I don't think a lot of people could do that. Thank you so much for that gift, for finding me as a friend, and for letting me be a part of your world. I feel very lucky to call you my friend. You mean a lot to me.'
As I laid in bed reading that I began to cry. It was exactly what I was feeling. I was feeling that I didn't know myself, that I was boring, and like I wasn't living I was just existing. I even began to doubt whether I'd walk again. It's a scary thought and a really sad place for me, but it's a place I can't pretend isn't there in my mind. It's hard to remember sometimes to stay in the now. What will be, will be. I can only try my hardest everyday to make my life and future as fulfilling and positive as possible, today. Not tomorrow, not a week, month or year from now, just today. And in the moment after reading that text I reminded myself that I was given this life because I'm strong enough to life it dammit! I needed to get back on track and needed to do it quick. I am feeling a lot better now though so Mom, please relax, there's no need to worry.
Therapy is coming along well. I must admit since getting Madsen I've been slacking. But this week, I'm getting back on track. I skipped a few therapy sessions and/or cut them short. And when I'm at home I've been lazier. Just sitting around a playing with my piggy. It's hard not to want to cuddle with him! But I'm getting better; we get outside a few times everyday now and want to start taking him for walks at least a few times before it gets too cold. We are looking at getting me a car really soon so I'm going to need to practice getting my chair apart and getting my arms stronger so I can lift it up over me. It's going to be hard work but I can't wait to feel even more independent!
Well on that note, I have to go get ready now. We are going to go look at a car here shortly! Maybe it'll be the one!